You Didn't Lose Control. You Gave It Away. | Why Emotional Triggers Hijack Behavior

Bump bump, it's a. It's it's. From man and another one. It's a new day and another one. It's a new days. Shot shy. Way, new day, new day. It's a new bay, a new day, new day. This a new man. Let's work new day, new day. It's a new man, new day, new day. It's up new a man, new day, new day. It's up new a man, same man. Yeah, man, what's up with it? Family? What's the damn deal man? What's the damn deal man? Let me officially welcome for the first time to some Welcome back to most to the Black Coffee Club. Host. About yours, truly, Junior, the truth man, the most intentional morning circle on the planet. Really truly genuinely appreciate you all. Man. If I had a million times, I couldn't tell it all man, saluting my brother, Saluting my brother, Jellybean, jelly bean four forty man, he said, Uncle alert, real real or real he got something is all kind of sirens, Uncle alert, saluting my brother for coming through and blessing man, blessing the chat with the with the jue Ales. Thank you so much, Really truly genuinely appreciate it. Man. Salute to the family. Man. Thank y'all so much, man for taking the time to tuny and really truly genuinely appreciate it. If I had a million times, I couldn't tell it all. I'm in DJR host Junior the Truth. You can follow me everywhere via social media. I can be found with the handle Junior of the Truth. It's j U n I O R t H E t r U t H and that's over all the social media platforms. But if you really looking for me, man, you can come over to the hub www dot jortruth dot com. That's the hub all things Junior the Truth Man. So salute to you all, really truly genuinely appreciate you. Man. Salute to everybody that's taking the time to tuney alive, even the people who haven't got here yet. Salute to you all. Shout out to everybody that's catching a replay replay Gang of Don't Bang, and shout out to everybody that's catching this via the podcast for a man. Salute to the podcast family hashtag Junior Mafia. My first love me La familia Man. Thank y'all so much. Sue to my brother King Vonnie in the building, what's up with you? So to my brother Big Dave KUNKI doll b CEU family in the building. What's up with you? Salutor? I am trill Will in the building. What's up with you? Saluting my brother jelly Bean forty two eighty in the building. What's up with you? Sue do my brother Snipe AKA four our snipering up building? What's up with you? Bro? Saluting my brother d Man Junior in the building. What's going on with you? Salutor Tiffy two my loved one in the building. What's up with your loved one? Shout out to Tiffy two, Salutor Phelix New there is the artist in the building. In the building, what's up with it? Man? Salute to you. Shout out to my brother, I am trill Will in a building? You peel me? Why see you in the thumb nail? Why looking good at in the government? Check? Boy? You a a A A man. You look like you're getting ready to go up. Meet Willie Johnson at the crossroad, man and take your soul. You feel me? You look like you finna go to a finna go me Willie Johnson the guitar player. You feel me, Slick Willie Johnson at the crossroads to make a deal for his soul. You feel me, Hell Hounds is on your trail, boy, salute my brother. I on trill wheel Man in that picture boy out the real looking like the devil himself? What's up with y'all? Man? So little tell you man, I forgot to say it. Man early on. Let me make sure we okay, we are levels. We get the levels there, boom levels good there, okay, boom man. This episode is going to. It's a conversation with the family, and it's going to inform you all that emotional triggers are not random. They are often conditioned responses rooted in our past experiences. By understanding our past condition, recognizing our stress responses, and developing emotional awareness, there it is again, Uh, the family can stop living on autopilot and begin leading themselves with intention. The objective is to help the family understand that self mastery is not the absence of emotion, but the ability to interrupt automatic, automatic reactions before they become destructive behavior. I know, I said a whole lot, but we're gonna unpack it. You feel me, We're gonna unpack it. We're gonna unpack it. So I guess let's just get started. Man, the hell with it, Let's get started again, finding city of fresh ass, cross roads demon you feel me? Ain't many going to me? Slick Willie Johnson man and make a deal for his soul. I'm trying to tell you. So. Top of the day, man, Salute to the family, Grab your coffee, Grab your favorite more than beverage. Have you ever said I just lost it? Ooh, that's that's that's a deal. I say, man, I just lost it. I'll be talking to my wife like I just lost it. Yeah, I just lost my ship. You feel me? I just lost it? Have you ever said I just lost it? Y'all gonna have to watch. Like I said, even if you can't type and talk, you're gonna have to give me my theme. You're gonna have to give me my theme emoji because I need to be sure you're rocking with this one. Need to be sure that you're rocking with this one. I just lost it. They pushed me too far. I couldn't help myself. Man, That's just how I am. That's just how I'm wired, That's just how I'm cut. We've all heard those phrases. You feel me. And we've all said those phrases, some of us have have some of them, some of us use them quite often. But today I want to challenge that thinking. Right, the whole purpose of the day is the challenge that thinking. Because I don't believe you lost control. I don't believe it for one second. I believe you gave that shit away. I believe you gave it away. I believe it's so much that that's my verdict for the day. You didn't lose control. You surrendered it to habits, conditioning and reactions. You never stopped to examine auto pilot, you feel me, auto pilot. You didn't lose control. You surrendered it. You surrendered it. Yeah, yeah, so much. In fact, that's actually the title of the show. You didn't lose control, you gave it away. You gave it away. Why emotional triggers hijack your behavior? Easy work, Easy work, easy work. Salude to my brother Felix Knew Naz Junior AKA to artists in the building, man coming through, blessing the chat man with the Jewiles. Salute to you man. I appreciate you. Man. Most people think emotional triggers come out of nowhere. They don't. You know what I'm saying. Your emotional triggers they have a history, they have a pattern. Believe believe it or not, your emotional triggers they actually have a story. I know you never thought about that. Think about the fact that your emotional triggers they have a history, they have a pattern, they have a story. You understand what I'm saying. The argument was not just about today. The criticism wasn't just about today. The disappointment wasn't just about today. It's something older, something older, something older, and it's showed up wearing today's clothes. You feel me, something older showed up wearing today's clothes. And before you knew it, you weren't responding to the present. You were reliving the past. I mean, I. Mean' ma rewind that man, because it just said something and I really should shut the show down. We think that our emotional triggers come out of nowhere, but they don't. They have a history, to have a pattern, to have a story. And the argument that you had or are having, it's not about It's not just about today. The criticisms not about today. The disappointment was not about today. It's something older, something older, showed up wearing today's clothes. And before you knew it. One, before you knew it, you weren't responding to the present. You were reliving the past. Man, let's get to work. One. I'm hustled harder than the moment. I'm a feast on these streets. Got a revolver. I talk for these niggas trying to take me off the block where I points up daily, sit dailies, out the bottles, smoke. Yes, yes, yes, I see. We got our skeleton crew here. Salute to the family. Shout out to everybody taking the time to tuney in live man, Salute to you. Shout out to the replay game. Shout out to the past, uh to the podcast family. Let's talk about conditioning. Let's talk about conditioning. One of the biggest mistakes people make is assuming that they're reacting to what's happening right now. It's one of the biggest mistakes that we make most of the time, like they you're not. We are not. Most of the time, we're not. We're reacting to what happened years ago, years ago. Maybe a criticism reminds you of a parent who constantly made you feel like you weren't enough. You understand what I'm saying. Maybe the silence reminds you of an abandonment. Maybe the conflict reminds you of instability. You feel me. Maybe the failure reminds you of humiliation. Your brain, this is a bar. Your brain literally connects, connects today's moments to yesterday's pain. Your brain will connect today's moment to yesterday's pain. Yeah, and this is for all my writers man and my note takers. This is something I want you to write down. Write it down in your planner. Shout out to everybody that has a simple truth minute manual planner. It is August the twenty twenty six. Are you bullshitting? I want you to write this down. A trigger is often an old wound recognizing a familiar shape. A trigger is often an old wound recognizing a familiar shape. Yeah, the person standing in front of you may not be your real opponent, you feel me. Your past may be. Your past may be. And here here's another truth. Saluting my brother ab showing love over on the rumble rumble rumbar. Here's another truth. You are not always reacting to what's happening now. Sometimes you're reacting to what happened then. You are not always reacting to what's happening now. Sometimes you're reacting to what happened then. And that's why people sometimes respond with intensity that doesn't seem to match the situation. I should some people. I didn't mean people, I mean you. I meant me. I meant us. That's why we sometimes react and respond, or we react with intensity that doesn't seem to match the situation. But your body remembered, You feel me. Your body remembered. Man, I can't. I don't want to go all off in the given examples. You feel me. I don't want to go all off in the given examples. But you know, if you never if you never been you never been socked in your face before, or if you never had the cowboy pitts slapped out of you, but you never got popped up sade the head, you feel me one of them good ones like for us we used to when we grew up. Now I'm a you feel me. I'm a I'm a. Seventies baby raised in the eighties. You understand what I'm saying. So you remember when you used to get them skinned typhades. I mean we used to go in the hood and people see that fade and they'd be like, whoa boy, and they slap you in the head. You feel me if you never been slapped in the head. Real good, You understand what I'm saying. Your body reacts different. Yeah, your body reacts people get close to you and you to this day, I think that's. Why I be. I don't like people behind me. You feel me when I go to fights. Literally, when I go to fights or sporting events in general, I always sit. I try to get on the lower level, but I try to sit in the bottom, in the back row of the lower level. You know what I'm saying. I try to sit with no seats are behind me. That's when I'm more comfortable. Yeah. Yeah. The body remembered. Yeah, the body remember before the mind had time to think. The body remembered. And that's why I have another truth that is super important, and that truth is the body remembers before the mind explains. The body remembers before the mind. It excuse me, the body remembers before the mind explains. Yeah, family, what feels excessive today may have once been necessary for survival. Does that make sense? What feels obsessive today may have once been necessary for survival. So we're walking around in this world where you know what I'm saying, like, you gotta be on point and it you know, things that in the way that you react today may have been necessary for survival yesterday. But people be looking at you like, dang. You know what I'm saying, Like I'm always when I'm out moving around with my family, I'm always like on point and I'm looking at you know, I always carry your pocket knife and I put my pistol in the car, and you know what I'm saying, My family be looking at me. I gotta, I gotta, I gotta a machete that I keep in my work. Then we got ready to do our world a road trip this weekend and my son I got even a little baseball back for a baseball season, and its season's over. So now I carry it back and I just put the bat. I'm like, get that back. I put the bat in the car. They looking at me like what are you gonna do with the bat? And I'm like, hopefully I don't have to show you. Hopefully you don't have to see what I'm gonna do with the s motherfucker. You understand what I'm saying what feels obsessive today may have once been necessary for survival some time ago, you feel me. But that's where we may. We came up in the air, and we came up from a place that caused you to have to be prepared. You gotta stay dangerous. You understand what I'm saying. Salute to my salut to my sister cc CC say that all the time, like you talk to CCCC, be like, all right, see you later, A be safe and stay dangerous. You feel me. Salute the CC and salute to my brother Black. What feels assessive today may have once been necessary for survival, but survival patterns don't always serve a purpose, and eventually you have to to ask yourself, is this reaction protecting me or preventing me from growing? And that's the truth. Saluting my sister, Thrive and glow with Joe. What's up with you? Joe? What feels obsessive today may have once been necessary for survival, but the survival patterns don't always serve a purpose, and eventually you have to get to a point where you have to ask yourself, is this reaction protecting me or preventing me from growing? Yeah. Yeah. So now let's briefly, let's talk about stress. Stress is not just mental, it's physical. When you triggered, your body immediately starts trying to protect you. Fight flight freeze, fight flight freeze, and sometimes even. People pleasing when you're stressed, your body will go to that. Sometimes even to people pleasing, your body doesn't stop and ass is this actually dangerous? It simply reacts. You understand what I'm saying, And that's why stress will That's why stress can hijack your behavior. Yeah, stressfiy hijack your behavior. Here's today's reality. When stress takes over, your behavior stops being chosen and it starts being defended. When stress takes over, your behavior stops being chosen, you stop choosing your behavior and you start to and you start and it starts being defended. Think about that. How many arguments started because you were defending yourself in a real way. I don't know if y'all in here or not. I don't know if y'all listening. I don't know what y'all doing. But whatever y'all do, doing that shit ain't working for me. Like I need to know how many times have arguments started because you was defending yourself. You feel me, could be something simple, somebody brings something to your attention. You defend yourself. Then y'all start going back and forth. King Vonnie said, that's real stress. Stress. Have me feeling sick with flu like symptoms? Yeah, stress be stress. Stress be fucking me up too, Broh, I ain't gonna lie to you, Joe said, too many times? Yeah? How many times have argument started because you were you were defending yourself, not because you were actually listening, you understand what I'm saying, Not because you're actually listening. Because somebody said something to you, you feel me, and you automatically started defending yourself because you grew up. You started defending that little boy that grew up that wasn't good enough or was misunderstood, or whatever the case may be. Yeah, it's a whole lot, and so you defending yourself without actually listening. You understand. How many opportunities have you walked away from because your fear disguised it self as wisdom? How many opportunities have you walked away from because you were scared that feeling set in were it was fear, but it was disguised as wisdom. How many relationships have suffered because your nervous system treated discomfort like danger. Because if you have any sort of relationship with people, it's gonna be discomfort. Any sort of relationship, it's gonna be discomfort. So, family, not every alarm means a fire. I need you to write that down. Not every alarm means a fire. For those that take notes, not every alarm means fire. Yeah. And a trigger is the body sounding and alarm. That's what the trigger is. Trigger is your body literally sounding an alarm. But not every alarm means that there's a fire. Yeah. I know I'm going slow and I'm talking slow with my caves, but this is the ship I really need, I really need us to I don't feel I feel like I do it at this justice. If I just blow through here, you feel me. But you trigger. A trigger is the body sounding an alarm, but not every alarm means there there's a fire. Yeah. And the problem is when we believe every alarm, and we believe every alarm is means that means it's a fire, then we spend our lives reacting. We spend our lives reacting. We snap, we shut down, we avoid, we procrastinate, We quit and that reaction actually feels good for about five minutes. You feel me for about five minutes. Yeah, but the consequences of our reaction last much longer. They last a whole hell of a lot longer. Yeah, Yeah, all right, man, let me get on through here. Y'all don't like talking about these emotional triggers. A fuck it. We hear, y'all like talking about these emotions and these triggers. But we hear, and shit, how us we gonna get better? And I gotta I gotta be the one to sit here and tell you, man that our emotional triggers are some bullshit. When our triggers go unchecked, it's some bullshit. And we create stressful situations in our lives when we refuse to technowledge and control our emotions and manage our triggers. Period. Yeah, then said, day before yesterday, I had to temporarily crash. Yeah, all right, here's the good news. Triggers don't have to control you forever, you feel me, They don't have to control you forever, but they do have to be noticed, like you do have to notice them, and you have to pay attention to them. Because awareness changed everything. Everything we talk about the fundamental piece, and the fundamental component is awareness. Awareness changes everything. Auto pilot says, I always do this. You understand what I'm saying. Awareness says, I notice I'm about to do this. That's a huge difference. That's a huge, huge difference. Yeah, Awareness creates space. Awareness creates space. Y'all hold on one second. All right, right, apologies, y'all. My baby was calling me. I'd be having a you know, I gotta take them, she she she in another state. You feel me, Dad says. He says that before yesterday had temporarily crash. I was wrong, but only y'all know about it. J Ki Bini said, he said, no judgment. There's no judgment. Nah fuck that. If you was wrong, go apologize, bro, if you haven't done so already. Bro, if you was wrong, go apologize. Bro. You feel me? Listen to me? All those polty says, I always do this. This is who I am. Awareness says, I notice I'm about to do this. I noticed something about myself. That's a huge difference because awareness creates space, and it's space to think, space to breathe, and ultimately it's space to choose. You feel me. And here is the whole lesson in the day. Here's the whole medicine for today. Leadership begins when you can observe the trigger without obeying it. The problem is not the triggers. The problem is not the acknowledgement of the triggers. The problem is obeying the triggers. Leadership begins when you can observe the trigger without obeying it. You can observe it, don't become it. You can notice it, don't surrender to it. You feel me. And then here's another truth. Shit we just chalked full of truth today. Autopilot makes you predictable to your worst habits. Autopilot makes you predictable to your worst habits, and awareness interrupts the loop. Awareness interrupts the loop. Yeah, awareness says, I know why I'm angry, I know why I'm anxious, I know why I'm defensive. But I don't have to let this run today's decision. Yeah, and the truth is family. That's not suppression. That's leadership. You're not pretending that the emotion is not there. You're simply refusing to let their emotion become your identity. As long as you are looking at it and you see it, it has not become your identity. Once you can't see it, then you know the motherfucker is in you. It's on you. That's you. You understand what I'm saying. Think about it. How many times have you told a person and you said, man, why are you acting like that? And they're like, what what? What are you talking about? What? And you say, Man, why mad? I'm not mad. I'm not mad, And you're like, why are you yelling? Then I'm not yelling. They can't see it any longer because they have become it. You understand what I'm saying. But when you can, when you look at it, you're not mad. You feel me. When you're looking at it, you're not mad. When you can see it, you're not yelling. You're still in complete control. Yeah, Joe said, you're stepping on my toes. I don't mean too. I'm stepping on my own toes though you feel me. People be like like, nah, if anybody has ever said that to you, Like, man, why are you mad? I ain't mad. I'm not mad. Yes you are. You can't you're mad because you can no longer see the anger. You have become the anger. Man. That's a cheek call for y'all. Shit, let me think I'm. Finna get that shit up for myself. That in and of itself is literally a breakthrough. When you're in these spaces and you are dealing with triggers and you are dealing with emotions, you realize, as long as you can as long as you can still see the emotion, as long as you can still see the trigger, as long as you can see it, and you can see those emotions, then you don't. You're not surrendering to them because you're looking at them. You feel me. Yeah, you're not surrendering to them. But once you don't see them shits, then you know you've become it. Yeah. But once again, you're not pretending that the emotions ain't there. You simply refusing to let them become your identity. And you're ultimately you're choosing your standards over your impulses. Yeah, you're choosing your standards over over your impulses. Dad says, don't do apologies, fund I take accountability. Even in taking accountability, taking accountability is a is a is a form of apology. You understand what I'm saying, even in a form of apology. But you know, but you know, but you know better than that, Bro. You know a man. You know as me and Bro, as leaders, we have to admit that we're wrong man, and you know we have to do apologies. We have to at times, man gots to admit when he's wrong. You feel me, apologize, take accountability, and take the atonement. That's just that's just life. That's just the life of being a leader. You understand what I'm saying. Let's close this out though, Let's get out of here before I get triggered. You are going to be triggered again. Like that's a fact. You feel me, y'all are we are us? You feel me the most of us our generation X. We've been here. We know what's going on. We know this life. We are in this relationship with life where we know that we are going to be triggered again. Maybe today, maybe tomorrow, maybe the day after that. Shit, it might be before this day is over. That's life. But here's the challenge. The next time you feel yourself reacting, pause, motherfuckers always talk say pause for some gay shit. I really wish motherfuckers would start to pause when they feel theyself getting angry, you feel yourself being triggered, Pause like that's the appropriate way we should be using this shit. You feel me, I don't. I never understood why men running around here with dick on they mind so much. Y'all had to excuse me. I didn't wreck this whole show, like I don't understand why men are running around in this space where they have so much penis on their brain that they can't use say a sentence without saying pause. You need to be saying pause when you feel your emotional triggers. So I'm gonna say that again. The challenge is, next time you feel yourself starting to react like you feel yourself. For me, y'all start. Feeling my mouth twitching and getting ready to say something, pause, then ask yourself three questions, what am I feeling? Where if I felt this before? And what does my standard require right now? You understand what I'm saying. What does my standard require right now? Those three questions will change your life. You understand what I'm saying because they interrupt autopilot. Yeah, and choice is where leadership begins. I'm talking like I'm literally talking about myself. I feel myself getting into these arguments and I pause, Pause, What am I feeling? Where have I felt? This before, And what does my standard require right now? It might require me to be quiet, It might require me to pull my level down. It might require me to remove myself from the situation, which is a lot of instances in my life. Now I just remove myself from the situation. But those three questions can literally save your life because they interrupt the autopilot. They restore choice, and choice is where your leadership begins. Remember this, You didn't lose control, You simply gave it away. Now you can take that motherfucker back. Not by pretending you don't have emotions. We ain't doing that. Not denying your past, we ain't doing that, but by understanding your conditioning like that is a conditioning. The way that you react to stuff and all of these different instances is a conditioning. You are conditioned, and you gotta recognize your triggers, and you gotta refuse to let yesterday's wounds make today's decisions, because the fact is, self mastery ain't about eliminating emotions. Man, Maintaining your standards is not about raising your standards. It's not about eliminating emotions. It's about leading yourself through them. Yeah yeah, yeah, Saluta A Spiegel. What's up with? Jehomi said? Whatever? Bro? He said, conditioned and indoctrinated, that's a fact. Saluta be about a farce, he said, top of the morning to you, are we still bullshiting? You feel me? Are we still bullshiting? It is August the fifth? Y'all? We steal bullshit? Yeah, Felix said, He said, what if they deserve spasing? Though? This is the crazy thing I had to realize, bro, because a lot of people deserve me to punch them in their face. Bro, Like a lot of people deserve for me to act the fuck out right? But where what does my standard say? You understand what I'm saying. What does my standard say? And that's what I gotta adhere to. What does my standard say? Because my standard is lined up, locking step and zero d in on my purpose. So what does the standard say? And if your standard says, hey man, you need to spass out on this motherbucker right here, then hey man, what am I to do? But in most cases that's not my standard? You feel me? You know I'm a player, man, I don't really I don't even raise my voice. You understand what I'm saying. I don't even I don't even raise my voice. Yeah, I ain't physical, man, physic I'll be in it. I'll be in pop somebody, man, before I get in the fistfight, fuck a tussle. You feel me. But at the end of the day, man, what does your standards say even if a person deserves this past because a lot of times people deserve a lot of things. Yeah yeah, refusing to let yesterday's wounds make today's decisions. Man, It's not about eliminating emotions. It's about leading yourself through it. I'm gonna leave you with this. You don't overcome emotional triggers by pretending that they are not there. You don't overcome emotional triggers by pretending they're not there. You overcome emotional triggers by understanding the conditioning, recognizing the stress response, and refusing to live on autopilot. That's leadership, that self, that self mastery, and that's how you raise the standard. Man. Hey, I'm junior, the truth man. This is the Black Coffee Club, the most intention no morning starting on the planet. Really truly, Jeni, really appreciate you all. Today's show was brought to you by the simple truth. Minute. Manyo, man, you need a system. It is the one Hour Book as well as The Planner, The one Hour Book that will change the way you watch the clock written by yours truly, Junior the Truth, and the twenty twenty six Personal Planner, which includes the Self Mastery Blueprint, both available with www dot The minutemanuo dot com. That's www dot The minutemanual dot com. Today's show is also brought to you by The Black Gentleman Grooming Company. We do have a line of all natural, handcrafted grooming products specifically with you in mind, so be sure to come check us out www dot The blackgent dot com. That's www dot the blackgent dot com. This is Junior the Truth standing off man giving you a daily reminder. If you your life like a here dice until it looks like a pair of ice. Man, I'm a high born player made if you don't know anything else about me. At the end of the day, I gotta keep pushing baby. We off of the best grooming cutters for you. For you that sung that you and he had craft. We want to help you swag swag and stop class and luxury cluxurary. There you got. Product self made for you with hop quality jets to get. A start with the Black little Black Yah you swag up bag and stuff. Wait a second family shout out to my little brother ab Man. I just now seen you. Man, my fault saluted my little brother ab Man in the cash at man sending in love over there. He says, uh for a solid game this am, and then he shot me some dice. Man saluted my saluted my little brother ab Man. I really truly genuinely appreciate you family. Thank you so much. My apology. Man, I'm supposed to have the cash app up, so it ringing dean, but I see you may. Salute to you all and thank you so much. Man. If I had a million times, I couldn't tell it all. We off of the best grooming cutters for you, for you that sung natural and handcrafted to We want to help the swag swag Us dot class and luxury luxury. Man. You got products cut made for you the hop quality gas to get a start with the black little Black gay company and competent you swag up bag us stop glass and luxury and luxury flack gentlemen, I'm black gay company. You swag Us slag us out last seductury and Luxury Located at www dot The Black gent dot com.