Roles, Rolls & Family Goals | The Culture Collective ThoughtCast™ | Episode 3 | Part 3

There was nothing. There was nothing from PTI, there was nothing. There wasn't a fanfare, there wasn't a stake in the company that was given to the family. There wasn't a contribution to my father's a state, there was nothing. My father didn't even get to appropriately retire from that place. There was no watch, no fanfare, no retire like. There was nothing. And so every since I experienced that, and I saw what not just what that did to my family and to my father, but I saw what the decline of the auto and of the automotive industry and manufacturing in my and not even my city, in my region. I seen what it has done to these cities and how it's ravaged these Midwest cities, and I see how it's ravaged families and things that it's cost. And this is all at the core this were people who really poured into their careers to the tune of not having an appropriate work life balance, and then just like that, it's over and it gone. And so every since then, I've had a hardened heart with regard to working yourself, overworking yourself, over extending yourself professionally. I feel like there has to be a work life balance because that can go away. And no matter what you achieve with your career and with that job, unless you own it, you can't give it to your children. And when you're gone, that's it. You're gone. And if you die on Thursday, by Monday, they'll have somebody else in your office and in your seat and doing the work. They'll take your shit. They'll box it up for you, or excuse me, they'll box it up for your family to come pick up. And it'll be in boxes already. People are already boxing up for you. So ever since then, I've had a heart and heart for people who refuse to have the appropriate work life balance and to keep the main thing the main thing. Don't you allow work to take you away from your children. Don't you allow the pursuit of this fake ass these fake ass statuses keep you away from your children. Don't you allow that shit to impact your commitment to your family. Don't you allow your pursuit of this fake ass status to pull you away from your wife and your children. Don't you allow this fake ass status and these bitch ass organizations and these punk ass sororities and fraternities and all that shit. Don't you allow that shit to pull you away from your family. Don't you allow those pursuits to pull you away from your family and your responsibility and your obligations to your family. So economic and emotional stress from dual expectations. That was number four, Number five. This is gonna be where it gets hairy. But it ain't really too crazy. It's the inner generational value clash. You feel me those of us that still got grandmama, your grandmama looking at you like you batshit crazy, Your grandmama looking at you like you batshit crazy. Grandmama looking at them modern women, and they looking at you, and they turn their noses up. I'm just gonna tell you the truth. They looking at the pop Paul, They looking at the modern men, and they turning their noses up. As the younger generations reject traditional gender roles, we're seeing a breakdown in the understanding between generations. Older family members, particularly those from the more traditional backgrounds, are feeling alienated by these changes, like they don't know what they're looking at. Meanwhile, the younger generations, they like struggling to find their place in the world where they're constantly being told that their values are outdated. The clashes is man, it's creating a divide in the home and ultimately well in the home, in the families, but ultimately in the home, and in some cases it's undermining the unity and the this and the support that's vital to family strength. You know, motherfucker, not come over your house. If they come over there and it's out of order, people don't feel right. You understand what I'm saying. Somebody come to your house and and shit ain't in order, and they get a they get a funny feeling, or I'm gonna tell you the truth, and I'm gonna talk about me. If I go to a man's house and family member, and I can feel a man in general, and I can feel the disrespect, I don't spend time there, y'all, don't spend time there because I'm a I'm a I'm a I really believe in energy, and I also believe in spirits, and I believe in the spirit of confusion. And I believe that you can be somewhere and and and these different spirits and shit can jump on you. Y'all believe that. I believe that these these spirits, I believe they can jump on you and they can travel with you. And they can get in your shit and cause you to have some shoes. But anyway, so we're creating this divide man in our families, and so you have people who just won't be messing around with each other. Man, it's easy, you know what I'm saying. You got people that and and it's and you know, we I'm talking about the culture now, you feel me. We traditionalists like people will look at you crazy if you gotta, if you gotta, if you got a wife and a husband, and Thanksgiving for instance, right, and I know everybody, Oh, you're talking about them holidays whatever? You know what the hell I'm talking about? We talking about Thanksgiving? Right, And you got a husband and a wife, and y'all ain't cooked nothing like y'all ain't y'all ain't cook nothing at the crib like you ain't cook. People gonna look at you like you crazy. You a woman and you ain't cooked. Now I'm gonna tell you the truth. I make a mean sweet potato pie. You feel me, I make a mean sweet potato pie. I'm I'm I'm. I was raised under the tuolage of Ella Dolores Robinson. Ella D's what they call her Waynsboro, Mississippi. A whole lot of shock tall. Indian shit, Indian gang or don't bang. You feel me? So? I was raised under my nanny, So I spent time in that kitchen with my nanny. You feel me, don't get me, don't get me wrong. My papa learned me how to work. That's what he said. My papa learned me how to work. I spent a lot of time with my grandmama too, Shucking peas, y'all don't know nothing about shucking them, purple hood peas, Snapping beans, picking greens, you know what I'm talking about. Spend a whole lot of time with my nanny cannon peeling peaches, you hear me, apples, bagging greens, putting them in the freezer. Spend a lot of time my nanny got a mean sweet potato pie and you every year you'll be surprised the amount of sisters, respectfully, that reach out to me to make them a pie because they don't know how to make a sweet potato pie. I'm being quiet on purpose. Do you understand it? The lost art of cooking? You feel me when you talking about motherfucker's cooking, And it's stuff that I got a hommy that scratch. A roof. The first time I heard scratch a rule or cooking the rule, I said, oh, there we go, there we go. I ain't think. Motherfucker from our generation even mexing with the rule, like they don't know what to do with the rule. Okay, we're scratching the rule. Okay, cool? Yeah, and. Sweet, you do not do a sweet potato pie. You ain't cooking Thanksgiving dinner. You got a man over there, because that's what the old folks do too, you know the old women. Look, you got that man over there, and girl, you ain't cooking off dinner. You ain't cooking no Thanksgiving dinner. Yes, it's a clash between it's an intergenerational clash, and that clash will tear away at the connection and undermines the the unity and the support of the of the that that's vital for the strength of the family. We've lost a sense of intergenerational wisdom and solidarity. Now, you women, folks, I'm gonna talk to y'all for a second. I know y'all thinking I'm jumping on y'all because I am. When is the last time you went in salt wisdom? From an elder woman, and you went and sat down at her feet and allowed her to hold you accountable and pour into you. When is the last time you did that? Because this modern one, this modern these modern women that we're seeing, can't nobody tell you nothing. I know, y'all gonna get mad, but fuck you can't nobody tell you nothing. When's the last time you went in South wives council from a woman? Or do you look at her as less then? Because in her generation she wasn't she didn't go to college. You understand what I'm saying. She had that she worked as a housekeeper or as a maid, or maybe she was a housewife and so on and so forth, and they didn't come from a lot of resources. She had to make do with what she had. So maybe you don't respect her mind and you don't respect her disposition, but in all reality, you actually should understand that you're standing on her shoulders. When's the last time you went and sat down at the feet of an elder one of your elder aunts, grandmama, somebody the older, and sat down at the matriarch and let her pour into you, let her give you some news you can use fellas bring your ass here. Last time you win when you went and sat down and talked to an old nigga. And let him pour into you and not open your mouth and don't say nothing. See that's the thing about me, right, I get the opportunity to go sit around. I still got some I still got a few old niggas that pour into me. Right. Go excused my language, man, it's my whole language. It just done went out the window. But it's cool. We family, and it's episode three, so I already know how I'm coming. But I get to go sit down and when they talk to me, I don't say nothing. There's not no time for me to prove that I'm the sharpest knife in the drawer. It's not time to prove that I'm the smartest. I got it all together and know none of that. You feel me, and it does my heart well when when of my old heads talk to me and they can talk about what I'm doing, and they talk about what I got going on. They talk about the book, the magazine, they talk about the podcast, they talk. About the business. You feel me, and they talk to me about how much they respect me because I don't ask them for nothing. I ain't never asked my uncles for nothing, not even when my daddy died. I didn't ask them for nothing, never asked them for nothing. I never went to them needing anything. You understand what I'm saying. I was a father of twenty five. I never asked any of my uncles. I never asked my daddy. I never asked anybody to put in on my responsibilities. I'm the type of nigga that's gonna go get it and come back with it. So I listen to them, and I feel love and appreciation when they talk about how don't ask them for nothing. Have an uncle that is that is he's done really well for himself, and he presents as being offended by me that I don't ask him for nothing, And I tell him unc if I ever need it. You understand when I'm trying to keep my name good because it might come a time when I actually need it. When them men sit around and they talk, I sit down and listen. I go put myself at their feet. I tell this story all the time. I went My cousin had a baby, and I went into the hospital to go see her, to go visit her. My uncle and my aunt was in there my uncle aunt and hurt and their son was in there, and I walked in and had my hat on. Uncle said, boy, take your hat off you. Inside, I felt loved and I felt so much appreciation. I got giddy like a little boy because my uncle corrected me. Most of the time when I walk around the baddest motherfucker in the area, my uncle corrected me, boy, take your hat off you. Inside, I snatched my hat off, Yes, sir, I felt so loved and giddy because my uncle corrected me. Because I know that man is not gonna ever allow me to not be on point. Never. Now I talk about my life like that's my life around these me and it raised me. And there's just this strong pool at this connection because of this inner generation of value clash that we have. Because our generation, excuse me, has come along and decided that we're gonna totally undo the traditional roles. We're gonna undo the roles within the family structure. We have lost a sense of innergeneration of wisdom and solidarity. Your children are disrespectful. You allow your children to talk any all kind of way, be opinionated. They can do in everything saying everything you feel me and to be honest with you, that in a generational value and that connection. We actually need to get that back if. We want to preserve the foundation of our family structure, because we're nothing without that. We don't have it all. We don't know it all. You feel me. We don't want to talk to these old folks and we have absolutely no idea how we gonna stay together. But fuckers don't know nothing about being married. Motherfuckers don't know nothing about raising kids. We figuring this shit out. A lot of us, we can tell the truth when it comes to this parenting. A lot of us are figuring this shit out as we go, and it's a train wreck. You know, y'all kids is turning out fucked up because it's a train wreck, and we can have a real conversation. Let's have it. If you're gonna bullshit, then you can click off the podcast. Excuse me, the thought cast, because I'm telling you like I'm here, and if you be here, you're gonna be offended. So a lot of y'all just got offended when I just said your kids is fucked up because of all of these this this what we've done to the family structure. Some of y'all got offended, and those of y'all who didn't get offendited. You keep coming around today just ain't your day. You'll be offended before it's over with. So where we go from here, it's not about rejecting progress. It's about understanding balance. We can challenge traditional roles without dismantling the structure that holds our families together. Because everybody's throwing out the baby with the bathwater. You feel me, women, So I ain't watching the dishes. I don't want to watch dishes. You I want to I want to climb on the roof, and and and and and nail shingles. You feel me. The role of the father, the role of the mother, the provider, and the nurturer. These aren't just old school concepts. They are fundamental building blocks of a strong family unit. It's about the alignment with your strengths, having honest conversations, and working together to create a dynamic that works for you, not against you. You understand what I'm saying. One of the most recent things that I saw that I was extremely alarmed at. I was extremely alarmed at Michelle Obama was having her podcast and Barack Obama was on there, and he was talking, and he talked about and we'll go in depth about this. We'll do a whole show about this. Maybe the next show, we'll do a show we'll talk about this. But he said basically that all black boys, and I'm paraphrasing, they need a mentor that is a homosexual so that they can get help with their empathy and being empathetic. Like they need to learn empathy from a homosexual man. This is what this motherfucker said. Now, y'all, I might be crazy, right, but traditionally, in the traditional family structure, you get empathy, sympathy, feelings, consideration, all of those things. You learn that from your parents, in particular your mother. You understand what I'm saying. See, I'm talking to you about losing your birthright, Like you learn to be empathetic from your mama. You know what I'm talking about, and then your father comes and reinforces it. Of course. Yeah, but these are traditional. Roles. That because our roles are being challenged. And we're not we're fighting tooth and nail over who's supposed to do what, and why is this way and so on and so forth, we are allowing an avenue to open up for the bullshit. In this example, we're talking about what Barack Obama was talking about. You understand what I'm saying, and I know, and I'm telling you it's bullshit, because why does it have to be a gay man specifically? You understand what I'm saying. Why can't it just be a they need to have relationship with a with a with an adult outside of their parents. Why can't it be It could be a coach, It could be a teacher, it could be a mentor, it could be a Scout leader. It could be a multitude of things. Why does it have to be specifically a gay man. Then he went on to talk about his experience and so on and so forth. But we'll do we'll have a whole different conversation about that. But we have to have honest conversations. And we have to excuse me, work together to create the dynamic that works for us and not against us. You understand. And I'm talking about if you if you married or like I told you in these Extraine's strange marriage marriages that are going to divorce, I'm talking post divorce. I'm talking if you're gonna get married again, if you're in a relationship, date, whatever, like we have to create these dynamics that work for us because because I'm a person, my people say, I'm way worked. You understand what I'm saying, Like, I don't really I'm not really a conformist. You feel me, I don't really conform and I definitely don't conform the bullshit. I'm not really, I'm not really I'm not really for conforming. But it's crazy as hell because I am very conservative in some areas as well, Like I believe men and men are me and women are women. I don't believe that that changes no matter what I think. You just that's a whole nother conversation. I'm gonna stop there, so I gotta leave you with this. Man, I gotta get ready to get out of here. We gotta get ready to wrap up episode three. Man, it's been a ooh we hopefully I've been enjoying it. But listen, IM gonna leave you with this. The family is the backbone of the culture. No matter what we think, the family is the backbone of the culture. I know we like to think it's the music, it's the fashion, it's sports, it's Lebron James, it's Diddy, Like you know, we like to think it's the celebrities. We like to think it's artist bullshit, But no, the family is the backbone of the culture, and as we continue to evolve, we have to make sure that we don't lose sight of what makes us strong. Because we have so, we don't need to lose any more site of what makes us strong. We are literally in this shit together, and the strength of our homes will define the strength of our communities. And the strength of our homes is defined by the strength of our individual relationships. Like I told you, like, I'm talking about roles within the family, and we did a lot of talking about marriage, but I am not discounting you people in us who are operating outside of the confines of marriage. You understand what I'm talking about. I'm talking about people who are in relationships, romantic relationships. I'm talking about people who have children together, people who have to work in co parenting situations. I'm talking about all of us. You feel me. Those relationships provide the strength for our homes, which then define the strength of our communities and ultimately the culture. Man, it's time to get for real. It's time to get for real. Yo, Man, I think I'm gonna stop there. Man. I want, I want, I want you to think about the roles man, expectations and how they're impacting your family life. Don't just accept things how they are. Challenge the way you think you understand what I'm saying. Take control of your life, man, take control of your families and live your life with purpose, like really live with purpose. But we got to get back to the family. Man, It's all about your family. Don't allow anything to supersede the family. It is all about the family. You keep the main thing, the main thing. And anything that causes distance between you and your family, you and your your spouse, you and your significant other, you and your children. Anything that causes those spots, man, or causes that distance. Gotta be mindful of that. But you gotta keep the. Main thing, the main thing, especially those of us that have children. Nothing nothing, nothing comes before the children. Nothing. It is all about the children. About to start singing, I believe you in our future, but I think I'll stop Mens. Saluci y'all. Man, Thank y'all so much, Man, really truly, GENU really appreciate it. Man. Once again, Man. This episode three is sponsored by the Black Gentleman Grooming Company, located at www dot the Blackgen dot com. We do have a line of all natural, handcrafted grooming products specifically with you in mind, so be sure to come check us out www dot the Blackgen dot com. Thank you all so much, man, I really truly genuinely appreciate it. Be sure to come visit the website www dot Junior the Truth man if you're looking for anything www dot Junior Truth dot com. And thank y'all so much. This is Junior the Truth signing off. I'm giving you your reminder of you your life like a pair of dice, until your life looks like a pair of dice. I'm Ohio born player may thank you for listening. And if you don't know anything else about me, at the end of the day, I gotta keep pushing baby. We offer the best grooming dottles for you for you, best song that you and you craft. We want to help me swag swag us dot class and luxury Luxury Man. 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